The growing problems with NRI Marriages: A wake-up call!

NRI Marriages gone bad: the issues with the NRI Weddings

“My daughter _____ who is an attractive girl, has done masters in English and now she is working in a bank with salary____. She is a lovable, cute and calm girl.she has great respect of our tradition and culture. Interested persons can contact us at____ Must be an Non Resident Indian (NRI) with legal and valid residence in US or Canada….”

“She has a bachelor’s degree in Information Technology and is just finishing masters in Computer Science; very outgoing, friendly and caring person. She likes making friends and gets along with people easily. Looking for an NRI living in …..”

There is something fundamentally wrong with these matrimonial advertisements all over the Internet and on-line newspapers. Many of these ads are nothing more than fishing for NRIs living overseas. As you can see for yourself, the primary qualities for match-making are often overlooked. What happened to the need for decent human qualities; may be a search for compatibility, honesty or other values? These advertisements don’t seem like for a wedding but more like a business proposition: would you take our pretty/handsome daughter/son for a green card? The greed is written all over these NRI matrimonials.

Similarly, on the other hand, you can also find plenty of ads starting with ” Looking for a suitable match for a well settled NRI overseas…..” or something like that. Being an “NRI abroad” is the main quality being touted again and again. I guess, as long as people are willing to be exploited, there will be exploiters.

More and more problems are emerging with these NRI marriages. The problem is not just opportunistic NRIs, but also those who put their trust in someone whom they have barely met. The personal gains take priority over any consideration for the long term well-being of the bride/groom. We can blame the NRIs for failed wedding, but the fault lies with both sides. Actually, the blame lies more on those who get married to someone just because he/she is an NRI.
If you are lucky, you may find a decent match; yes, there are lots of success stories. However, it is too much to be left on luck alone; waging everything on blind trust and chances alone is no wisdom.

There is no wonder why the NRI weddings are getting increasingly negative press. Everywhere in the news and media, there are too many sad stories of NRI marriages gone bad everyday:

• A bride is being shunned soon after her arrival overseas
• A groom is taking a beating for one reason or another,
• A couple is looking for ways to separate or divorce as both sides are unhappy due to failed expectations.
• The bride/groom families are blaming the other side….

These are just a few typical examples. The proof of deteriorating NRI relations is right in front of us. The stories of this nature are everywhere – the newspapers, the social gatherings, the Internet. If you Google search for ‘NRI issues’, the sites related to NRI divorce are popping up on the front pages of search results. I personally tested and verified this from the local public libraries at different locations (USA), and also using Bing.com. Even the search engines seem to know what type of issues NRIs are searching for. It is sad.

Let us hope and wish that the Indian community wakes up and pays attention to this issue of increasingly failing NRI marriages. It is very important that every future NRI bride/groom and their families do the due diligence before committing to NRI weddings.
Even if we are not involved directly, we can still make a difference by exposing the issue. Someone else will benefit from it.It is about time to tell everybody; warn them about the smoke, so the fire can be controlled.

In the end, as you know, very few actions start from the pureness of love. In fact, most of our actions are triggered by one of the two reasons- fear or greed. In case of NRI Weddings, let us consider fear BEFORE greed.

Share your suggestions or comments about this social issue impacting at home as well as overseas. You can start a conversation below, and others can join in. It takes at least two to start a chain.